"Oh, f---"

"Oh, fuuuudge." Only he didn't say fudge. That's right; he said it. The f--- word. The coup de gras of all swear words. It was a flat tire incident that brought about Ralphie's foul mouth during Christmas. At the Mendez house, it was a new set of blinds for the family room. It happens in a split second; you're not even sure that it's happening; you're unaware of the four-letter word lingering in your subconscious, ready to jump out at a moment's notice. All it takes, apparently, is a metal ladder and a stubbed toe. Then, the flood gates open.

Right away, there erupts a toddler chant of "oh, f---, oh f---, oh, f---." Adults stifle the laughing. We keep talking, about anything, anything at all, ignoring the smallest of smut mouths, ignoring him, giving him no attention, none at all. And trying extremely hard not to bust out laughing. The swear words subside.

Until dinner.

When Sam drops his fork, he also drops yet ANOTHER F-bomb. Again. Must. Stifle. Laughter. I'm not sure why we think it's so funny. Perhaps because it's so inappropriate.

A few weeks have past since the "ladder" incident, and we were swear word free. And then Sam tripped down the curb at daycare. And guess what? That's right. "oh, f---."

I imagine some of you are worried about his future, about eternal damnation and about mandatory home schooling. Instead, we choose to focus on how bright and, dare I say, gifted he appears to be. After only one "lesson," Sam has grasped the new vocabulary and has used it in a variety of instances, all with incredible accuracy. I'm sure future teachers will note just how bright he is.

Sam's romance continues to blossom and he took his special girl to "Baby Loves Disco" a few weeks ago. It's amazing how much toddlers will dance if you hop them up on juice boxes, cookies and pizza and then turn on the loud music and a bubble machine. Davia seemed to enjoy the dancing more than Sam did (who was basically in a trance when they kicked on the bubbles), but still saved a couple of dances (and a little downtime) for him.

As many of you know, we recently took our first family vacation. Packing up the suitcases (which tipped the scales at 55 pounds and cost us an additional $100....thank you, United Airlines), we headed west to San Diego. It seemed both kid- and adult-friendly and none of us had really visited before.


Somehow, our week of vacation coincidentally coincided with Sam's first tryout of the tantrum. And, in yet another display of his giftedness, he not only tried it for the first time, but also MASTERED it in just minutes. It was a rocky trip, with some trying moments (mostly on the airplane) and some very sweet ones (saying "hello" to the ocean every morning). We came home with a few scars, a digital camera full of photos and some wonderful memories. And we continue to brace for the "Terrible Twos."